There have been a few posts on the forum recently about the portrayal of assault on Episode. There are a lot of stories on the Episode platform that either romanticize, further stigmatize, or just flat out inaccurately portray assault and/or its effects.
If you have read my previous post, you are probably aware that I am not only a sexual assault survivor, but also a domestic abuse survivor. Today, I want to talk about ways that assault is portrayed within the Episode platform.
You probably hear a lot that everyone responds to trauma differently. While that is true, everyone responds, reacts, and copes differently, it still leaves a lasting impact on your life. One of the biggest problems that I see with the way assault is portrayed is that the victim recovers/moves on/gets over it at an unrealistic pace and usually with no outside help (therapy).
A person does not just move on like nothing happened. Yes, some people do become numb, pretend like everything is okay. That was me after being assaulted in high school. I was fine, but I really wasn't. A part of you dies inside and your overall perspective of the world changes. The only reason my parents didn't realize how bad I was coping was because I was seven hundred miles away. People at college didn't know that my behavior was abnormal, because they didn't know me before I was assaulted. Even though I tried to just pretend nothing happened, it still changed the way that I interacted with people and the world. It still affects how I interact with people and the world, almost twenty years later. It stays with you forever.
What I am saying is that you don't just wake up the next morning and go on about your merry little life like nothing happened. It leaves a fingerprint on you, always there. It's how you deal with that fingerprint that dictates your future.
Another thing I see a lot is the love interest becoming a savior, and once they enter the life, everything is magically better. This maybe irritates me slightly more than a victim acting as though it never happened, and was one of the reasons I wrote my story Speak. Finding love does NOT fix things. It does NOT mean it never happened. It does NOT mean that what happened does not permanently impact that person's life. I have been married eleven years now, and I still struggle... EVERY DAY. Does it mean I'm not happy or that I don't love my husband? No, it just means that the fingerprint on me impacts the way I live my life. My husband has learned these peculiarities about me, and has adapted to support me when I'm struggling. It hasn't always been easy. He didn't save me, he didn't fix me, and he didn't make everything that happened just disappear. It DOES make things better, but DOES NOT erase the past.
Please do not use assault as a plot line just to create drama within the story, ESPECIALLY if you are not going to accurately show its after affects. That not only further stigmatizes the effects of assault, but sends survivors a message of hopelessness because they cannot bounce back like they see portrayed. It can cause ACTUAL damage to someone's mental health.
The same goes with any type of abuse. Sexual, physical, psychological, etc. Inaccurately portraying the affects can further damage a person who has experienced it.
There have been stories that have romanticized assault, where the perpetrator changes their ways, turns good, and sometimes even is the love interest.
NO.
Just NO.
This is sick and degrading to survivors. Making the abuser “change their ways” minimizes the pain the victim experienced. It also gives false hope to those IN abusive relationships that the person might change their ways if they just endure the pain long enough to see the rainbow.
THEY DON’T.
If not for my own mother impressing upon me that my Ex would NOT change, I would probably be dead. I spent so much time just thinking that if I just tried harder to please him, he would change, but the reality is, it wasn't me. It was him. Showing abusers who change their ways gives that false hope and can get people KILLED. It's not a good plot twist, it's just wrong.
While these are fictitious stories, they DO have a real impact on REAL people and influence younger people as to what is normal and acceptable. If you do not know, not willing to talk to those who do know, or not willing to do proper research…
PLEASE DO NOT WRITE ABOUT IT.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
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